Swanheart
by Tuulikki
Summary: Little one shot ficcy, inspired by Nightwish’s 'Swanheart'. It’s long past midnight and Seto’s still trying to get sleep...


Okay, here we go! I wrote this long ago, it just took me quite long to register in My first little YGO ficcie. Don't be too hard on me… and remember that English isn't my first language. I did my best, but I'd be really surprised if this were flawless… So, if you spot something too bad, please tell me. That way I can learn something out of this.

Both Seto's thoughts and the song are in _italics_.

Oh yes, the famous **Disclaimer**. I almost forgot… So, I don't own Yugioh. What a surprise, really… And I don't own the song either.

**Note: since fanfiction net doesn't anymore allow songlyrics used in the fics, I had to remove them. If you want to read the fics with lyrics go to mediaminer. My username is the same there.**

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**Swanheart**

Seto Kaiba lay in his bed staring at the ceiling. The mansion was quiet, the only sound that could be heard was the wind blowing in the garden's trees. The red numbers of the alarm clock beside his bed glowed in the darkness. 3:18.

For a moment he wished that Mokuba would have a nightmare and come to sleep with him. Then again, even if Mokuba had a nightmare this night he wouldn't be coming to him, since he was staying over at his friend's.

_Good that even he has some friends_…

The wind was blowing hard that night, it's rough caresses bending the treetops.

_He's starting to get quite friendly with Yuugi-tachi also_…In daytime, he wouldn't have approved this, but during the nights he could admit that he envied his brother, that he was jealous of the relationships Mokuba could create so easily.

_Pathetic. Jealous_…_ because of that bunch of useless fools_…_ What do they know_…_ Take that girl, for example, living in her own pretty world full of friendship and love_…_ And then there's Yuugi_… _and that white haired boy, what's his name_…_ Ryou. Such innocent little idiots_…_ They have no idea what kind of place this world can be_…

Slowly, he felt anger building up inside of himself, although he did not know why he was angry.

_Wish I could show them the truth… Make them see the reality, tear down those silly fantasies they hold…_

He turned over so that he was lying on his side, and stared at the wall instead of the ceiling. The sky was cloudless, and the moonlight made dancing shadows on the wall, the shadows of the tree branches that swung in the wind outside of his window. The shadows hovered back and forth, moving in the rhythm of the wind's music, and as Seto followed their dance he felt his eyelids start to close. The sound of the wind was fading away, now it resembled the sound of a distant ocean… He could almost see the vast blueness, smell the salty sea air… And hear a voice whispering under the sea's rolling…_ That jerk_…_ coldhearted_…_ uncaring bastard_… _I bet he wouldn't even know what love and friendship mean if he hadn't checked them from a dictionary_…

Quickly, his eyes snapped open.

_Yes, I know_…_ That's what _they_ think_…_ But what do they know? What do they know about me_…

He closed his eyes again, dreaming of love.

_They don't know what I could be if I got a chance_…_ If I had someone_…

He imagined that someone was lying there beside him, just lying, some faceless being, warm and gentle and beautiful… Someone who would hold him through the night, someone who would love him for what he was, who would be able to _see_ what he really was… He could almost feel the warmth of another body, hear the soft breathing…

-

"I love you…"

_-_

Suddenly he opened his eyes again.

_I never learn, do I_…_ That doesn't make it any easier. On the contrary, it makes the reality even harder to bear_…_ I should stop this dreaming, it doesn't lead to anywhere_… He was staring at the dancing shadows again, not really seeing them.

_Don't give up_…_ You can't just give up, then you'll lose everything_… A little voice whispered somewhere in the back of his head, almost drowned by the blowing wind.

_Lose everything? What's there to lose? _he thought wearily._ – The chance_…

He rolled over on his other side.

_What chance? What chance will there ever be for me?_

_– Just have faith_…

_Faith_…_ I've had faith all my life. At least since Mom and Dad died_…_ That someday everything will be better. Always thinking it can't get any worse_…_ And always it can_…

Seto turned over so that he was again lying on his back. The sound of the clock striking four could be heard from the downstairs. The wind was growing into a storm, and the dance of the shadows on the wall was getting wilder and wilder, but he did not pay anymore any attention to it as he lay on his bed, staring again at the ceiling.

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I don't know about you, but I got kind of depressed now that I read this again…

Anyway, despite my depression, I'd appreciate some reviews.


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